happy birthday darling!!!! I remember meeting you the first time, i instantly felt the connection with u (although u thought I was anti-social) and I thank god everyday for bringing you into my life because you make me really happy:) I’m really proud of you for everything you have accomplished. I’m so happy to see you becoming stronger everyday:) have a great 17th birthday and I apologize for not being able to celebrate your birthday with u (still got presents alright hehe <3) and thank you for being one of the few people I can share my secrets with and thank you for accepting me for who I am. I wanna let you know that I will always be there for you whenever you need me, thank you for all the fun times and laughter you brought into my life for the past 4 years babe, can’t wait to see where we will be in 10 years time. I love you. see you soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️ @hellodipshit
before mum left for work she handed me this lemon and told me to make sure it doesn’t cause any mischief while she is out. i am to groom him twice a day and feed him every 3 hours. then we shall play boggle and i’ll let him win out of pity. he’ll notice the sparkle in my eyes and fall in love with me. i will be mesmerised by his beautiful zesty scent and fall in love with him. at the end of the day i will get down on one knee and confess my undying love for him and ask him for his hand in marriage. we are to be wed on the ides of april. our honeymoon will be wild and carnal.
i shall fall pregnant and 9 months later will give birth to a beautiful lemon daughter. i will name her clarissa. throughout her teen years she will face many challenges. no one will want to date her because she is a lemon. no one will invite her to their sweet 16 because she is a lemon. no girl wants to change in front of her in the PE change rooms because she is a lemon.
clarissa will eventually lose her fucking lemon mind and jump into a blender. i will be devastated by this. i will cry many tears. then, my lemon husband will leave me out of confusion and grief. he’ll find some foreign woman here on a visitor’s visa and fuck her brains out. he’ll then realise that the only human woman who has ever satisfied his citrus seeds is me, and he will come back to me. i will make him work to earn my respect again. we will make sweet sweet love under the orange tree in my backyard. he’ll tell me he loves me and i’ll tell him i love him, and then we’ll grow old together and sit on the porch every morning, watching the sun rise.what
i just read lemon fan fiction
what just happened
It could happen to anyone. People bury a person alive to scare them or to get rid of them. In this situation, rely only on yourself.
- Do not waste oxygen. In a classic coffin there’s only enough oxygen for about an hour, maybe two. Inhale deeply, exhale very slowly. Once inhaled - do not swallow, or you will start to hyperventilate. Do not light up lighters or matches, they will waste oxygen. Using a flashlight is allowed. Screaming increases anxiety, which causes increased heartbeat and therefore - waste of oxygen. So don’t scream.
- Shake up the lid with your hands. In some cheap low-quality coffins you will be able to even make a hole (with an engagement ring or a belt buckle.)
- Cross your arms over your chest, holding onto your shoulders with your hands, and pull the shirt off upward. Tie it in a knot above your head, like so: This will prevent you from suffocating when the dirt falls on your face.
- Kick the lid with your legs. In some cheap coffins the lid is broken or damaged already after being buried, due to the weight of the ground above it.
- As soon as the lid breaks, throw and move the dirt that falls through in the direction of your feet. When it takes up a lot of space, try pressing the ground to the sides of the coffin with your legs and feet. Move around a bit.
- Whatever you do - your main goal is to sit up: dirt will fill up the empty space and move to your advantage, so no matter what - do not stop and try breathing steadily and calmly.
- Get up. Remember: the dirt in the grave is very loose, so battling your way up will be easier than it seems. It’s the other way around during a rainy weather however, since water makes dirt heavy and sticky.
JUST TO PROVE TUMBLR HAS A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING.
just in case guys
it could happen to anyone
If you think about it, this is like super deep because we only see a certain spot of a house from the vlog….that could be a metaphor to represent how we only 5% of a youtubers real life, or 5% of their actual house….
This just shows a different depth than originally thought by all of us. We see what they show us, let’s just hope they show us the real them